Here are a list of all the member episodes so far. All these are available to every member and instantly available for download immediately, so if you join today you will have all these episodes just waiting for you, in addition to ad-free shows from episode 40 onward, weekly ad-free episodes, and monthly member episodes.
Member episode 46: Vacation
A Tsar goes on a trip with his buddies, and it takes a bad turn when he gets captured by an enemy king. It turns out torture isn't fun (who knew?) and he needs his wife to come save him.
The creature is the piroboli! Hot rocks! They are rocks who are hot (both actually hot and hot for each other)!
Member episode 45: Heads or Tails
When a tiger comes up to you sharpening his claws and offers you a deal, you take that deal...unless you're the farmer's wife.
The creature is Donkey Pope! It's really neither a Donkey or a Pope or the genesis of a successful video game franchise.
Member episode 44: The Spice of Life
A king asks his daughters how much they love him and he gets King Lear'ed. Hard. Then he learns the value of a healthy amount of sodium in your diet.
The creature this time is the orc, the toothy monstrosity...that isn't remotely what you're thinking about.
Member episode 43: Gifts
Zeus decides to be nice to the little guy for once, and gives a woodcutter three wishes.
Member episode 42: The Juniper Tree
Evil stepmothers are evil, yeah, but this one is really, really bad. She doesn't mess around with poison apples, because those take far too long...
The creature this week is your sickly genie baby! It's not as sad as it sounds.
Member episode 41: Great Hair
A prince is struck the desire to find lentils and/or Anthousa the fair with the great hair.
The creature this time will morselize you, and no I'm not sure that's a word. Also he doesn't care that it's not a word because he will do it anyway.
Member episode 40: Salty
A story from Scandinavia of how a freeloading brother had consequences for the entire world, and how to make quests to the underworld a business trip (protip: bring lots of free ham).
The creature is why you should be cool with probably the creepiest horror movie trope of all time.
Member episode 39: The Dark Forest
Dumbling (or Simpleton, if you will), takes a trip to the dark forest with some beer and pocket cake, before meeting a shiny, sticky friend.
Member episode 38: Traditions
Halvor has had a string of really bad Christmases. Maybe the time a guest shows up with a polar bear will be better?
Member episode 37: A Little Help from My Friends
A soldier just wants all the money in the world, is that too much to ask?
Member episode 36: The Devil's Playthings
The story of a man who gets very stinky for a very large amount of money...and finds love in the process.
The creature is a bolt of cloth that might be your new favorite hat/best friend...or your murderer, depending on its opinion of you.
Member episode 35: Pancakes and Wine
The story of the girl, the pancakes, and Uncle Wolf, where you'll learn what you shouldn't give a wolf in return for his kindness.
Member episode 34: Knowledge is Power
The story of the Vizier and the sage Duban, from 1001 nights, where a sage helps out a king with the mindset of a toddler when it comes to medicines
Member episode 33: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Iktomi, the white spider, asks his friend Coyote, the coyote, over for dinner. It does not go well.
The creature this week is the sea hare! It's a hare! In the sea! Except that it was named by people that have apparently never seen a hare!
Member episode 32: Can't Catch Me
It's not the Gingerbread Man. It's a better story of talking food that takes off when someone tries to eat it...which is pretty much always. It's the story of Pancake Boy.
The creature is a demon that just wants you to try and kill him. Needless to say, please don't do it.
Member episode 31: Not Mad
A story from Afghanistan about a farmer that's totally not mad. You're mad. Also now you owe him 100 gold pieces.
The creature is the evil demonic presence responsible for moldy wheat and hairlips.
Member episode 30: Abandoned
In this urban legend, a young couple decides to get married, they just need to overcome their parents' objections...and their own doubts.
The creature is the worst combination of an angry cat and a giant spider
Member episode 29: Gaslighting
A story of two wives in a stupidity arms race over who has the worse husband.
The creature is the reason why the owl is such a shady bird that never comes out during the day.
Member episode 28: If You Can't Say Something Nice
The story of a time when a husband and wife switched their respective duties for the day. She went out and farmed turnips, and he stayed home with the baby and tended to the animals. A surprising amount of blood and fairy tale physics ensued.
The creature this time is a drool vampire. He just loves slurping up your drool while you sleep. I'm about to throw up.
Member episode 27: All You Can Eat
In the original story of Hansel and Gretel, you'll see why having your food help you out in the kitchen is a very bad idea, and how learning poetry can be very profitable (in duck-related ferry situations only)
For the creature, it's a relative of a lot of famous slavic characters we've talked about on the show...and a guy who is very terrible at his job.
Member episode 26: Goose Chase
Zeus and Hermes spend a long afternoon on earth, and the creature is just a completely normal cat fish with strong opinions on catfish.
Member episode 25: Together Forever
Sometimes love lasts forever...and that can be a horrible, horrible thing.
Member episode 24: Give Him the Finger
A story from the Grimm Brothers about the robber bridegroom...one in which a bridegroom is a robber...but that's really burying the lede, because there are so many more terrible things about him. Like his inability to keep plans. And his emotional distance from his fiancee. And cannibalism.
The creature this time will answer the question of whether or not that goose out there is actually a barnacle. Answer: probably.
Member episode 23: Peer-Reviewed
The story of Chicken Little (AKA Henny Penny AKA too many variations to list) is fun until it isn't.
Member episode 22: A Boy Named Buttercup
A story from Scandinavia about a boy with an uncommon name and an uncanny ability to outsmart witches...but will he take things too far?
Member episode 21: It's a Kind of Magic
A story from Japanese folklore about a young girl whose father disappears...and brings back something magical.
Member episode 20: Your Friendly Neighborhood Iktomi
Today's story is about a man who is also a spider. A spider....person... from Native American folklore. I'm not sure if trademark law prohibits me from describing an anthropomorphic male spider in the most succinct terms, but we're going to be safe. Anyway, Iktomi does whatever a spider can, and also a few things a spider can't, namely conning people.
The creature this time is yet another reason not to sell alcohol to children.
Member episode 19: And We Were Young
The story of the singing bone from the Grimm brothers, and why it's a great idea to go dangerous boar hunting if you have no prior dangerous boar hunting experience. Or a weapon. And feel like it's a good idea to accept items from strange mythological creatures.
The creatures this time are the Moss People, also from German folklore. They are people...covered in moss. But also maybe butterflies.
Member episode 18: We Are the Music Makers
The story of the town musicians of Bremen... a tale where the titular characters are neither musicians or from Bremen. You'll see that it's never too late to start again, and that is doubly true if someone is trying to kill you.
When it comes to the creature this time, get ready to be super annoyed by literally everyone in your life.
Member episode 17: If Wishes were Fishes
In this episode, it's the story of the pike, and why you should talk to your food before you eat it, just in case you can get some wishes. Also, drunk stove driving is bad. Don't do it.
The creature has fashion to die for. Literally. She will murder you and take your hair, and hopefully in that order. It doesn't even look good and I have no idea why she does it.
Member episode 16: Fool Me Twice
This time, it's the story of an elderly couple, their dog, and the worse neighbor of all time. Oh and also way too much feces because I apparently can't get away from the bathroom humor this week.
The creature is knock knock knocking on the walls of the mines warning you about your imminent death...or just saying hi. Nothing urgent or different about those two things.
Member episode 15: What's in the Box?
The story of Pandora from Greek Mythology and Greek mythology is fairly misogynistic. Surprise!
The creature this time will attack you on the road at night...unless you become the monster...and take his bucket.
Member episode 14: Cat Lady
I don't want to give away too much, but this is about an elderly old woman who lives alone with her cat. Also, she consumes an unhealthy amount of cabbage soup.
The creature is hairy and naked (no surprises there), but you don't get to be horrified by this because one look will kill you. Sorry.
Member episode 13: Lend Me Your Ear
A story from Mexican folklore, about a woman who loses (almost) everything and completely changes her life. She lives for years with mercenaries, pirates, and finally, has a confrontation that changes everything.
The creature is a sad, wet, misogynistic chicken.
Member episode 12: Grand Theft Apple
A murder mystery from the collection known as One Thousand and One Nights. The creature is yet another reason to follow the first two rules of the Myths and Legends Podcast and not follow strange voices into the dark forest.
Member episode 11: Godfather Death
A fairly famous story from the Grimm brothers...about the time Death was a dad.
Two creatures this time! One is a super self-conscious ghost who needs a pair of gloves. The other are tiny magical dwarves...from the land of skin diseases.
Member episode 10: Vanity
On this member only episode, we meet a young man who posts a sign outside his store talking about how good-looking he was and how any woman would be entranced by his handsomeness. The issue? If you make that claim, you better be prepared to back it up.
The creature is the Oats Goat! He likes oats! And people! Sometimes when it comes to biting, he can't tell the difference.
Member episode 9: The Pig-faced Gentleman
This is a type of beauty and beast story. One of the earliest European ones put down to paper, actually. It's about a king and queen who give birth to a little boy after being somewhat-blessed by fairies who hole mankind somewhat in scorn. It's messy, bloody, and ultimately a lesson in loving someone no matter their appearance...or how terrible it was for women during the middle ages. Seriously. Listen to this episode, then the one about the pig-faced women and see how different the treatment of the two pig characters is.
Member episode 8: Lazy
The story of Abu Muhammed the idle (also known as, apparently, Abu Muhammed the Lazybones), a young man who was so lazy that he refused to even chew his food, and instead made his mom feed him baby-bird-style. Also, he get's a pet ape and too much money.
The creature will serve you pancakes if you get weary in the field...or take your baby in the middle of the night.
Member episode 7: The Day it Snowed Tortillas
A story from New Mexican folklore in the American Southwest about an astoundingly stupid, but sweet, woodcutter and his turn of luck.
The creature this time is a friendly Welsh one...friendly, that is, unless you don't buy him a beer. Then he'll just torture your local minister and yell at your baby.
Member episode 6: Iron Shoes
On this member episode, it's a fairy tale from German folklore about a young man who wanders in to a dark, seemingly-abandoned castle only to meet a mysterious woman who has a number of difficult tasks for him.
The creature is from Russian folklore, and you'll learn why you need to bring your rooster with you if you want to show up drunk to work.
Member episode 5: The Inch-High Samurai
The story of a boy who leaves home, finds love, and becomes a samurai...all while being little more than one inch tall.
In the creature of the month, you'll see why you shouldn't grow your hair out and dress nicely...especially if you are a security guard at a church.
Member episode 4: Ash-fool
Like many of the fairy tales with super-popular adaptations, an early version of Cinderella is much more bizarre and violent. The old evil stepmother trope is back, but she may just end up doing more damage to her own daughters than Cinderella. I'll also go into the reasons the German version of this story is so much more violent than the others.
The creature is the ia, and it is the devil on your shoulder. He doesn't so much influence your behaviors as sit there and let you screw up all by yourself.
Member episode 3: The Cloak of Beards
Multiple epic battles and a ridiculous idea getting taken way too far end up with one king possessing a cloak made out of the beards of all the kings of the earth. He just covets one more - the beard of a man we've seen before on this podcast. This is the story of the mantle of kings' beards.
The creature of the week is a bad monk who will hang out in your kitchen and try to tempt you into gluttony. As if I needed extra temptation toward gluttony in the kitchen.
Member episode 2: Unintended Consequences
On the second Fairy Tale Friday episode, it's two stories from Japanese folklore. One is a super-adorable story about a monkey playing with a crab, which turns into a bloody revenge tale. The other involves a man in the forest who discovers a very powerful alternative to Rogaine.
The creature of the week is a little guy with big ears and an even bigger appetite.
Member episode 1: Predator
Hey everyone! First, thank you so much for supporting the podcast. Here is the first Fairy Tale Friday episode. If you didn't hear the podcast last week, it's the fairly-horrifying tale of Sleeping Beauty. There's a creature of the week, too! The story of a drunk man from Irish folklore who is the possible origin of the jack-o'-lantern.
Member only short 2: Irish Legends
An extra supplemental story to the Irish legends (22A-22C) that tells the story of a character we saw only glimpses of, but whose tale is tragically interwoven with the rest of the larger legends. It's a short backstory that adds one more level of detail to an already complex and interesting set of stories.
Member only short 1: Baba Yaga
A short character study looking deeper into the weirdness that is the character of the famous Russian witch Baba Yaga and why she might be the way she is.
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